By: Michelle Polek, Domestic Violence Prevention Specialist
and other SafeChoice advocates
A few weekends ago, YWCA Clark County advocates joined the Bring Vancouver Home campaign to knock on doors and share information about Proposition 1 with our community. Proposition 1 is a ballot measure that would create an Affordable Housing Fund, which would help to create safe, affordable housing for all of Vancouver’s residents.
I had some great conversations with folks who were interested in learning more. An interaction that particularly stuck with me, however, was with one gentleman who appeared to be quite skeptical when I told him that 2200 kids in the Evergreen and Vancouver school districts are currently homeless. His disbelief seemed to only increase when I further explained that many of those who are homeless (including families with children) are fleeing domestic violence. At SafeChoice, our domestic violence advocates regularly meet with survivors who are looking for and cannot find safe housing – for themselves and for their children.
I’m not sure that either of us walked away from that conversation feeling fully satisfied. This interaction really reminded me about the importance of raising awareness about how the issues of domestic violence and safe housing are intertwined.
One of the most frustrating widespread myths about domestic violence is the idea that survivors can simply leave their abusive partners. Not only does this myth place the burden of stopping violence on survivors (rather than holding abusers accountable), it ignores a very basic fact: oftentimes, survivors have limited funds and nowhere to go. And in Vancouver, the housing crisis means that survivors and their families have especially few options.
The reality that many survivors face is a choice between sleeping in their car (if they have one), staying in an unsafe environment, or returning to an abusive relationship. I think about the many folks that I have worked with who only had that option, and as an advocate this feels helpless. As a society, we continue to send the message out that if you just leave your abuser, then it will all be ok. Advocates and survivors alike know that it is not that simple.
-Caroline Bartlett, Director of SafeChoice
At SafeChoice we are committed to providing empowering services for survivors of domestic violence. Our community office is a safe space for survivors to tell their stories and talk about how to keep themselves and their children safer. When safe housing is a survivor’s need, however, all too often the support that we can provide is limited. Housing support available within the community is limited, too.
The housing crisis has escalated in the eleven years I have been an advocate with SafeChoice. Our program participants have rental barriers because of domestic violence, or are financially unable to find affordable housing due to domestic violence. There are few affordable places to go, and very little financial help to lift them out of a crisis. We need solutions to keep families safe.
- Margo Priebe, Legal Advocacy Specialist
I am incredibly proud of the work that SafeChoice does to support survivors. I have seen our advocates spend hours calling on countless resources to secure even one night of safe housing so that a survivor and her child would not have to sleep in the rain. Half of the people who stay in our shelter currently are able to exit to transitional or permanent housing. Although this statistic might seem low, in our community it demonstrates survivors’ determination to find safe housing as well as our SafeChoice shelter staff’s tireless advocacy. Our shelter advocates work around the clock to look for resources, provide support for survivors, and collaborate with community partners to help reduce survivors’ barriers. Even then, a 60-day stay is often not long enough to secure housing. Fifteen percent exit to other shelters or to an unknown location. Thirty-five percent are able to find space with friends or family, but for many this is by no means a permanent or even safe solution.
Oftentimes, due to the isolation by the abuser, these are complicated relationships. There are resentments and safety concerns that might not have been considered prior to moving in together – are they all at risk of abuse now? The kids don’t feel like they’re in a stable place and can have troubles at school and with their safe parent. Getting out sooner rather than later is a priority. Having affordable housing is a key element to helping families become free of abuse.
-Vicki Hipp, DSHS Advocacy Specialist
Supporting Proposition 1 is one concrete thing that you can do to support survivors of domestic violence. If you live in Vancouver, vote for Prop 1 on November 8th. Encourage your friends and family to do so as well. Reach out to people in your communities and help them understand Prop 1 – most people who learn more about this measure will then support it! You can find out more about the specifics at the Bring Vancouver Home website. If you are interested in helping to go door-to-door to raise awareness about Prop 1, there are weekend shifts every weekend from now until November 6th. You can also volunteer to phone bank or put up a sign in your yard – sign up at Bring Vancouver Home.
Together, we can empower survivors in Vancouver by allowing them to have more safe options for themselves and their children. We can show that our community values everyone’s right to a home free of violence.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Monday, June 20, 2016
A Perspective on Orlando
By: Ariella Frishberg, Sexual Assault Program Prevention Specialist
My first instinct as I processed the shooting at a gay bar in Orlando on Sunday morning that resulted in the death of 49 people and injured another 53 (primarily LGBTQ folk of Latinx descent) was to stay silent. To put my head down, do my work, and grieve behind closed doors. To let someone else speak up, not because I am speechless, but because I am so tired of being the one speaking.
As I sit at my desk, listening to the “Pulse” playlist Spotify has already created and trying not to cry, however, I know that’s not an option. As a queer woman, this tragedy strikes too close to home for me to remain silent. I, along with many within my community, spent the last several days reeling from this event. I have had to question my safety at the Pride events this coming weekend – events that originated as a result of acts very similar to this, where police raided gay and lesbian bars and violently attempted to stop us from being who we are. Pride is supposed to be a celebration of who we are, how we love, and how far we’ve come, and yet this year, Pride will be irrevocably darkened by grief for lives lost and for how far we have yet to go. I can’t stay silent, because I need you to understand that every queer or trans person in America has spent the last week thinking, "that could have been me.”
As a white, cis person, I have even more of a responsibility to use the privilege I have to talk about this event. It is necessary that I recognize the ways in which I have access to safe spaces that many queer and trans people of color (QTPOC) do not. YWCA Clark County has been one of those safe spaces for me over the last three years, which is why I chose to write this article. I encourage those of you reading this (the majority of whom I know are white, cis, and straight) to use this as an opportunity to put the allyship we often talk about to good use. I’ve suggested some strategies for practicing allyship below. Please know I do not speak for all queer people by any means – but much of this was inspired by the thoughtful posts my community has written over the last several days.
DON’T
+ Don’t lean on your LGBTQ identified friends to help you process this event. No matter who you are, it is horrifying and incomprehensible. But if you’ve never had to question whether you are safe holding your partner’s hand as you walk down the street, you cannot understand the fear that goes along with that horror and outrage.
+ Don’t let people get away with Islamophobia or xenophobia in their responses to the violence. Islam is not to blame for the hatred and violence that is rampant in our own country and was enacted by one of our own citizens.
DO
+ Reach out to the queer and trans people in your life. Not to talk about what happened (unless they want to), but to let them know you see them. That you care about them. That they have your support.
+ Reach out to the Muslim people in your life. Not to talk about what happened (unless they want to), but to let them know you see them. That you care about them. That they have your support.
+ Recognize that discriminatory laws (like the bathroom laws, and others currently being passed around the country) are part of a spectrum of oppressive systems that make violence like this possible.
+ Speak up. Even if you don’t think you know anyone who is LGBTQ identified, I’m quite certain you do. And they will remember who posted something on Facebook, who spoke up in public, who interrupted an oppressive conversation, and who stayed silent. Especially for those who remain closeted, your public allyship will mean more than you can know.
DO MORE
Other people have posted much more coherent articles than I can put together right now. I highly recommend this short read, or this great list of concrete things you can do to help.
I’ll leave you with an excerpt of a poem I found comforting last night.
From "In Case you Ever Need It, It Is Here," by Daphne Gottlieb
"...Let your name be
The name of someone who
can do the unthinkable:
Stands up and keeps moving.
You are standing. You are taking
a shower and eating breakfast.
You are going to classes
or going to work. You are doing
impossibly hard things. Keep going
and keep going and there
is summer. Laugh even if it is
with rage. Open your mouth
and your fists. Tell the truth.
Tell a friend. Listen to someone
else's heart. It is beating a miracle. You are
Both here.
When scars are new,
They shine. Be all the glitter
You need."
This month, let's all be all the glitter we need.
My first instinct as I processed the shooting at a gay bar in Orlando on Sunday morning that resulted in the death of 49 people and injured another 53 (primarily LGBTQ folk of Latinx descent) was to stay silent. To put my head down, do my work, and grieve behind closed doors. To let someone else speak up, not because I am speechless, but because I am so tired of being the one speaking.
As I sit at my desk, listening to the “Pulse” playlist Spotify has already created and trying not to cry, however, I know that’s not an option. As a queer woman, this tragedy strikes too close to home for me to remain silent. I, along with many within my community, spent the last several days reeling from this event. I have had to question my safety at the Pride events this coming weekend – events that originated as a result of acts very similar to this, where police raided gay and lesbian bars and violently attempted to stop us from being who we are. Pride is supposed to be a celebration of who we are, how we love, and how far we’ve come, and yet this year, Pride will be irrevocably darkened by grief for lives lost and for how far we have yet to go. I can’t stay silent, because I need you to understand that every queer or trans person in America has spent the last week thinking, "that could have been me.”
As a white, cis person, I have even more of a responsibility to use the privilege I have to talk about this event. It is necessary that I recognize the ways in which I have access to safe spaces that many queer and trans people of color (QTPOC) do not. YWCA Clark County has been one of those safe spaces for me over the last three years, which is why I chose to write this article. I encourage those of you reading this (the majority of whom I know are white, cis, and straight) to use this as an opportunity to put the allyship we often talk about to good use. I’ve suggested some strategies for practicing allyship below. Please know I do not speak for all queer people by any means – but much of this was inspired by the thoughtful posts my community has written over the last several days.
DON’T
+ Don’t lean on your LGBTQ identified friends to help you process this event. No matter who you are, it is horrifying and incomprehensible. But if you’ve never had to question whether you are safe holding your partner’s hand as you walk down the street, you cannot understand the fear that goes along with that horror and outrage.
+ Don’t let people get away with Islamophobia or xenophobia in their responses to the violence. Islam is not to blame for the hatred and violence that is rampant in our own country and was enacted by one of our own citizens.
DO
+ Reach out to the queer and trans people in your life. Not to talk about what happened (unless they want to), but to let them know you see them. That you care about them. That they have your support.
+ Reach out to the Muslim people in your life. Not to talk about what happened (unless they want to), but to let them know you see them. That you care about them. That they have your support.
+ Recognize that discriminatory laws (like the bathroom laws, and others currently being passed around the country) are part of a spectrum of oppressive systems that make violence like this possible.
+ Speak up. Even if you don’t think you know anyone who is LGBTQ identified, I’m quite certain you do. And they will remember who posted something on Facebook, who spoke up in public, who interrupted an oppressive conversation, and who stayed silent. Especially for those who remain closeted, your public allyship will mean more than you can know.
DO MORE
Other people have posted much more coherent articles than I can put together right now. I highly recommend this short read, or this great list of concrete things you can do to help.
I’ll leave you with an excerpt of a poem I found comforting last night.
From "In Case you Ever Need It, It Is Here," by Daphne Gottlieb
"...Let your name be
The name of someone who
can do the unthinkable:
Stands up and keeps moving.
You are standing. You are taking
a shower and eating breakfast.
You are going to classes
or going to work. You are doing
impossibly hard things. Keep going
and keep going and there
is summer. Laugh even if it is
with rage. Open your mouth
and your fists. Tell the truth.
Tell a friend. Listen to someone
else's heart. It is beating a miracle. You are
Both here.
When scars are new,
They shine. Be all the glitter
You need."
This month, let's all be all the glitter we need.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Diversity in Police Force Can Aid Domestic Abuse Survivors
Interview with YWCA Bilingual Advocacy Specialist Beatriz Velasquez
We are nearing the end of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but our advocacy and support for survivors of domestic abuse is a year-round endeavor. At YWCA we recognize that each survivor’s story and experiences are unique, and we strive to highlight how issues like racism, heterosexism, and language barriers complicate the experience of domestic violence survivors seeking help.
One issue that can factor into a survivor’s decision to reach out for help is whether or not they feel safe going to the police. The higher incidences of police brutality towards people of color has been at the forefront of our national discourse in particular this year, and it is one of the contributing factors towards the general mistrust of police officers by minority communities.
One woman working with the Vancouver Police Department to improve diversity training in our own community is YWCA Clark County Bilingual Advocacy Specialist, Beatriz Velasquez. Beatriz has worked for YWCA for almost five years. In order to highlight the particular struggles faced by domestic abuse survivors in the Latino/Hispanic community, she advocates for them as a member of the Vancouver Police Department Chief’s Diversity Advisory Team (CDAT). The CDAT holds a monthly meeting where community members representing various local minority groups can share their thoughts and concerns with selected police officers, members of the Vancouver Fire Department, and representatives from the City of Vancouver’s human resources department.
 |
| Beatriz Velasquez |
Beatriz has personal experience in dealing with domestic abuse, and knows firsthand how hesitant many members of the Latino/Hispanic community are to reach out to the police. In some instances the distrust is encouraged by the abuser, telling their victims that if they call the police they will end up deported or in jail. In an interview with The Columbian earlier this year, Beatriz noted that “In my community, I can say 70 percent are afraid to make a (911) call. They worry about what will happen when an officer shows up.”
Beatriz notes that in addition to the fear many in the Latino/Hispanic community feel towards the police, language barriers can also act as a significant roadblock in seeking help. This is an issue Beatriz has raised in her CDAT meetings, and feels positively that the Vancouver Police Department is taking her concerns seriously.
“They are very aware of how important diversity is in the department,” she says, “ They are very open to listening to the concerns of the community, and listen very carefully when I voice my concerns. It has been a pleasure to work with them, and to see them as people who love their job, and their community.”
This sort of unity, at the end of the day, is precisely why Beatriz continues to do the work she does, and why she is positive about the impact of the CDAT and other similar efforts in the future. “I believe that we can all be part of the solution through communication, understanding, and love for one another. We all may look different, but our intentions are the same: To make this world a better place for our loved ones.”
Click here to read The Columbian’s full profile of the CDAT, and here for more information on domestic violence and YWCA’s SafeChoice Program.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
You're Invited to "In Her Shoes"
Join us Tuesday, October 20th to experience this free event which showcases the challenges and obstacles women in violent relationships often face.
In addition to our ongoing efforts to raise funds for Purple Purse Challenge this October, YWCA Clark County is hosting the event “In Her Shoes” Tuesday, October 20th from 4-7pm.
Described by our SafeChoice Program Director Stephanie Barr, "In Her Shoes" exists “to help people who have not experienced domestic violence better understand the experience of trying to survive and possibly leave an abusive relationship. It’s an interactive workshop where participants are given a true scenario and have to make choices about how to move forward with their lives.”
Four different versions will be held with each staggered so that a different version begins every 15 or 20 minutes. YWCA offers each version, original, immigrant (offered in English and Spanish), teen and economic justice, in part to address the nuances and specific obstacles faced by domestic abuse survivors.
“Each survivor has a unique story to tell,” notes Barr. “We think that even people who are familiar with the dynamics of domestic violence can learn something by stepping into the shoes of someone who may have faced barriers because of their age, country of origin, native language, sexual orientation, or economic status. There is so much to understand about the ways that other forms of oppression, such as racism and heterosexism, complicate the experience of domestic violence survivors who are trying to get help that truly meets their needs.”
One of YWCA Clark County’s main goals in addressing domestic violence is to encourage our community to feel engaged and informed on how they can support survivors. The exercises and scenarios presented at "In Her Shoes" aim to do just that.
Please consider joining us for this free and enlightening event this coming Tuesday, October 20th, and spread the word to family and friends on social media. Hope to see you all there!
Click here to open an "In Her Shoes" flyer containing all important information about the workshop.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Join the Purple Purse Challenge!
Help us Fundraise for Victims and Survivors of Domestic Violence through the Month of October.
Aimed at “creating long-term safety and security for survivors through financial empowerment”, last year’s campaign drew over 140 community partners together in support of Purple Purse through fundraising from CrowdRise. In total, $2,500,000 was raised to help give survivors of domestic violence the financial knowledge, skills, and resources they need to escape the cycle of abuse.
One of the most common questions poised to survivors of domestic violence is “Why stay?” While the answers are complicated and different for each survivor, one of the top reasons women stay in abusive relationships is that they simply do not have the financial means to break free. According to The Allstate Foundation’s website, 98% of all domestic violence cases involve some sort of financial abuse.
Financial abuse can take on several different forms, but the main goal for the abuser is to isolate their spouse or partner from accessing financial independence, whether that involves preventing them from accessing banks or credit cards, monitoring their partner’s spending habits, restricting transportation, or impeding the ability of their partner to find employment.
This is exactly why one of the main goals of The Allstate Foundation’s Purple Purse is to help domestic abuse survivors better understand and have access to their own financial resources.
This year, YWCA Clark County is proud to be one of over 160 nonprofits joining in the challenge. All the funds we raise will be used to provide survivors with advocates who help with safety planning, housing, employment, childcare and other critical services to ensure a safer future for the entire family.
Click here to donate through YWCA’s Crowdrise page. The person who raises the most money for our SafeChoice program will win an actual purple purse designed by award winning actress and Purple Purse spokeswoman Kerry Washington!
Friday, September 18, 2015
Join Us for Give More 24: September 24th, 2015
YWCA Clark County is happy to once again be partnering with Give More 24, a regional 24 hour online giving challenge organized by the Community Foundation for Southwest Washington (CFSWW). This year the event will begin Thursday, September 24th at exactly 12AM and continue throughout the day.
Last year, through the generosity of our community, we were able to raise $2,514, and won an additional “Happy Hour” bonus from CFSWW for recruiting the most new donors from 5-7pm on the giving day. That’s a total of $3,514 that was able to be put towards YWCA’s mission to eliminate racism, empower women and promote peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all.
This year, we’re aiming higher, and hope that with your support we can reach $5,000 by the end of the giving day. So mark your calendars, and plan to give more to help women, children and families escaping domestic violence. Give more to provide advocacy for survivors of sexual assault, and support abused and neglected children in the court system. Our outreach is only as powerful as the support we receive from our community. Give more to help us achieve more.
If you haven’t already, be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter for the latest updates, and to help spread the word on Give More 24 to friends and family. Together we can make September 24th a day to remember!
#GiveMore24
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Interview with "Girls on the Run" Founder Molly Barker
Empowerment, at its core, is about making people aware of their value. It’s about providing the skills, knowledge, and belief to people that they can handle and overcome whatever life hands them, and it is essential to the mission of YWCA Clark County.
At YWCA’s upcoming 2015 Annual Empower Luncheon, we’re recognizing the work of guest speaker Molly Barker, founder of Girls on the Run. Molly was kind enough to take the time before the event, and answer a few questions about her work and the importance of empowering young girls both physically and emotionally:
Q: What inspired you to start Girls on the Run in 1996? What had you been doing previously?
Prior to Girls on the Run I held a number of jobs, all working with youth. I was also doing my best to figure out who I was. After years of struggling with my own feelings of self-worth and then witnessing the struggle young girls were going through, I decided to start Girls on the Run.
Q: How does Girls on the Run integrate building both the physical and emotional abilities of young girls?
Each lesson creatively integrates physical activity with games and lessons that focus on any number of tools and skill sets that girls can use to stand up for themselves, and stay true to who they are. The games are fun, engaging and physically active.
Q: What about physical activity, or running in particular helps girls to feel empowered and capable?
I've been a runner since I was 14. While running didn't save me from some of the struggles I encountered in adolescence and young adulthood, it did and still does provide a space in my day where I feel the most empowered physically. Running also provides a space in my day where I can just be unencumbered by stress. I just breathe, listen to my feet on the pavement or path. It's a spiritual sanctuary in a way.
Q: Why the focus on girls in 3rd-8th grade?
3rd to 5th grade girls are moving into abstract thinking. Life becomes a bit more confusing. The notion of absolute "right" and absolute "wrong" gets fuzzy. Girls on the Run wants to reach girls in this critical stage of development, so they have the tools to navigate these "grey" areas of life with a sense of confidence and self-awareness. Our program for 6th through 8th grade further enhances these skills, but puts a great deal of emphasis on having the girls lead the conversations and lessons. They can take on leadership roles and apply what they learn in real life situations.
Q: In what ways does Girls on the Run emphasize relationship building and teamwork? Do you feel those skills are particularly important for school aged girls to learn, in comparison to other demographics?
I think these skills are important for all people! However, developing these skills at an early age makes it easier to hold onto them as we grow up into empowered adults.
Q: What is your proudest moment from Girls on the Run?
It was watching my own teenaged daughter coach the program. She wasn't even born when I started Girls on the Run. The joy in her eyes and the joy in the girls’ eyes was something I will never ever forget.
Q: What are you looking forward to about speaking at YWCA’s Empower Luncheon?
I love speaking and meeting new people. I love the mission of the YWCA. I love hearing the stories of empowered girls and women.There is too much good here to list!
Q: Can you tell me a little about your new organization The Red Boot Coalition?
The Red Boot Coalition addresses the current heightened level of "us versus them" so prevalent in our country today. The program, led by trained guides, creates places where people listen with compassion and share with vulnerability, and by doing so create a new conversation where solutions are found and people feel safe, connected and loved.
Thanks again to Molly for answering our questions with such insight and enthusiasm. If you’re interested in hearing Molly speak or learning more about YWCA’s Empower Luncheon on September 16th, click here. Registration closes September 8th.
 |
| Molly Barker |
At YWCA’s upcoming 2015 Annual Empower Luncheon, we’re recognizing the work of guest speaker Molly Barker, founder of Girls on the Run. Molly was kind enough to take the time before the event, and answer a few questions about her work and the importance of empowering young girls both physically and emotionally:
Q: What inspired you to start Girls on the Run in 1996? What had you been doing previously?
Prior to Girls on the Run I held a number of jobs, all working with youth. I was also doing my best to figure out who I was. After years of struggling with my own feelings of self-worth and then witnessing the struggle young girls were going through, I decided to start Girls on the Run.
Q: How does Girls on the Run integrate building both the physical and emotional abilities of young girls?
Each lesson creatively integrates physical activity with games and lessons that focus on any number of tools and skill sets that girls can use to stand up for themselves, and stay true to who they are. The games are fun, engaging and physically active.
Q: What about physical activity, or running in particular helps girls to feel empowered and capable?
I've been a runner since I was 14. While running didn't save me from some of the struggles I encountered in adolescence and young adulthood, it did and still does provide a space in my day where I feel the most empowered physically. Running also provides a space in my day where I can just be unencumbered by stress. I just breathe, listen to my feet on the pavement or path. It's a spiritual sanctuary in a way.
Q: Why the focus on girls in 3rd-8th grade?
3rd to 5th grade girls are moving into abstract thinking. Life becomes a bit more confusing. The notion of absolute "right" and absolute "wrong" gets fuzzy. Girls on the Run wants to reach girls in this critical stage of development, so they have the tools to navigate these "grey" areas of life with a sense of confidence and self-awareness. Our program for 6th through 8th grade further enhances these skills, but puts a great deal of emphasis on having the girls lead the conversations and lessons. They can take on leadership roles and apply what they learn in real life situations.
Q: In what ways does Girls on the Run emphasize relationship building and teamwork? Do you feel those skills are particularly important for school aged girls to learn, in comparison to other demographics?
I think these skills are important for all people! However, developing these skills at an early age makes it easier to hold onto them as we grow up into empowered adults.
Q: What is your proudest moment from Girls on the Run?
It was watching my own teenaged daughter coach the program. She wasn't even born when I started Girls on the Run. The joy in her eyes and the joy in the girls’ eyes was something I will never ever forget.
Q: What are you looking forward to about speaking at YWCA’s Empower Luncheon?
I love speaking and meeting new people. I love the mission of the YWCA. I love hearing the stories of empowered girls and women.There is too much good here to list!
Q: Can you tell me a little about your new organization The Red Boot Coalition?
The Red Boot Coalition addresses the current heightened level of "us versus them" so prevalent in our country today. The program, led by trained guides, creates places where people listen with compassion and share with vulnerability, and by doing so create a new conversation where solutions are found and people feel safe, connected and loved.
Thanks again to Molly for answering our questions with such insight and enthusiasm. If you’re interested in hearing Molly speak or learning more about YWCA’s Empower Luncheon on September 16th, click here. Registration closes September 8th.
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